HER

She wanted me to write something about her. It seemed like a mountainous job, for I didn’t know what I’ve been feeling ever since I married her. There were no butterflies in stomach, never day dreamed about her, hardly spoke on the phone for hours. Do I really love her? What is love? Is it the feeling I had when I saw my first crush in school? Or is it the feeling that drives us to do the craziest things on earth?

Holy moly! Why did I marry her then? She asked me this question a hundred times but never got a satisfactory answer. Do I have an answer? Can there be a reason behind marriage? If yes, does it become conditional? ‘Do you love me?’, she asks. I stare at my own thoughts.

It’s been almost two years now. Neither my life nor my lifestyle has changed. She let me be myself. I know no one loves me the way she does. How do I know? I just know. What does she do to make me feel that way? Nothing much. She screams, she fights, she does what she wants. Then how does it make me feel good? Because that’s exactly how I want her to be. She is not my better half. She doesn’t complete me, because I hardly start anything for her to finish. She does it all by herself. I love her not for what she does, but for what she is.

Happy Valentine’s Day, my opposite!

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The first day

Are we good now? It’s 2014.

It’s the first page of a fresh book. We start off tidily and by the year end it’s all shabby. That is precisely why I stopped writing in a notebook. Instead, I’m using a word document to make sure all pages look good. Now all I have to do is to just wait and see how good this year is going to be. Don’t you think it’s high time we should start following a new calendar? Or at least, let December be the first month of 2014 and January the last. Hell yeah, if the whole world can agree to this, it’d be amazing. If we can’t change anything, then what’s all the excitement about?

Not sure how many of you seriously took the advice I gave in my previous post but I certainly didn’t. Even though I made no plans to ‘do something different’ and ‘go somewhere’, it all happened by itself. When you are not understanding anything, you stay calm and eat. I, along with a few of my cousins, found a good restaurant in town to party. It’s a different story that we spent more time there taking pictures than eating food, nevertheless, the ‘go somewhere’ part was taken care dutifully.

Year after year we aimlessly celebrate the arrival of a new beginning, and we all know it’s boring to stick to a routine. Just because we danced all night long on 31st December 2012, doesn’t mean we will have to do the same for the rest of our lives, every year. We are humans and humans hate routine, which is the reason why we can go to any extent to ‘do something different’.

By the time we finished dinner and came out of the restaurant it was past midnight. The traffic looked heavy, and few passionate souls on motorbikes were racing and shouting on the streets. They all looked so happy and united. You can find such performances on the road only when 1. It’s a new year 2. India wins a world cup. While I drove back, random dudes on the streets waved hands while wishing my wife, ‘Happy New Year’ and they didn’t even care to look at me. It looked as if their aim was to grab the attention of every girl on the street. Even the security guard at the restaurant, while we were getting into the car, shouted ‘Happy New Year Madam’, overlooking me blatantly. Then I realized that all these are in fact brave, forever alone, souls who made plans to ‘do something different’. That’s when I decided, to do something different, you have to wish other people’s wives. Next year, maybe, I too shall give it a try.

New Year’s Eve

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To deal with expectations is one of the most daunting things in life. From India winning an overseas series to passing that effing exam, we tend to expect. Expectations go high during festive days, holidays and weekends. Why do we get so high on friday? Because we expect to ‘freak out’ during the weekend even if that means sitting home all day and watching tv. That’s the problem.

New Year’s eve is one of those problems. No one is sure what to do and yet we try to do ‘something’ because it’s a new year. Sulk the whole rest of the year, it doesn’t matter, but we need to start the new year with a bang is the premise. I’m stuck in the same situation not knowing what to do. I’ve asked few friends for advice and the responses were like, ‘Go somewhere’ or ‘Do something different’. One girl even suggested me to watch ‘Dhoom 3’. That’s when I stopped seeking for more advice. My initial plan was to go to an exotic place nearby, and I’m tired of looking for such exotic destinations around Hyderabad. I don’t drink, I don’t smoke and I don’t eat non-vegetarian food, which filters out most of the regular options and raises the most obvious question, how do I enjoy if I don’t drink, smoke or eat non-veg? Going to a movie or restaurant is a usually weekend thing which doesn’t qualify to the ‘Must do things on new year’s eve’. Wow, I got a reason for everything.

I can still convince myself and do nothing but I have a partner under the same roof who wants to ‘go somewhere, do something different and freak out’. Handling these expectations can be daunting.
In any case, one advice to fellow victims, Keep calm and sleep.