I don’t know

Aren’t you feeling anxious, now that you’ve crossed 30?, my twin sister asked. Anxious about what? Don’t you feel life is running too fast and you don’t know if you will be able to do all those things you dreamed of? I never had many dreams or expectations in the first place, I replied.

This is an easy statement. It sounds like I’m taking an easy route for a living. It sounds like an escape. It’s succumbing more than enduring. Success and failure are mere bodies, minus the soul, in these transitory moments. I’m still looking for answers to the most basic questions. What do I like? What makes me happy? Is success rated by weighing your high vs low moments? Like a see-saw, except, when one entity starts weighing more than the other the fun is all gone.

I’ve become too boring and philosophical over the years. I can’t believe I just wrote an entire paragraph defending my laziness. This is what happens when the mind contradicts the heart. What am I trying to say here? Nothing but the usual, which is always incomplete.

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There was a cold day…

I haven’t experienced snow. I haven’t experienced sub zero temperatures. I never lived in antarctica. As a hyderabadi, I never thought i’d rant about weather. This winter has been exceptional though. I always loved winters but this season I realised how much I underestimated the power of winters. I even wore thermals for the first time ever.

Every object lying around is cold. I get down from bed and the floor sends a cold current through my legs. I struggle to stand near the wash basin while brushing my teeth; although most of us like to walk around the entire house while brushing teeth. Hot water becomes cold too soon and clothes, instead of offering us protection, have become lethal.

I had been to agra last week and the experience was no less than a nightmare. It looked like Sun had asked rain to hold the fort while he went on a long vacation. A very bad choice, I must say.

Soon as I came back to hyderabad, I saw people wearing surgical masks and talking about vaccinations to prevent swine flu. I don’t think the ground situation is too bad, yet these hospitals and clinics are exploiting our suspicion. Give a chance, they might even quarantine cases of common cold.

Hoping for a deadly summer this year.

Trivia

Q: How did the English guy ask his Hindi servant to open the door?

A: There was a cold day!

As Good As Dead

When I started writing blogs, almost 8 years ago, my only aim was to entertain the reader. I dreamt of creating ‘energy’ through this medium. I had a quote on the sidebar, back then on blogger, “one post a day keeps boredom away”. I had so much to write when I was in college. I thought my readership will grow once I start working as I assumed an entire organization might start following my blog. How stupid was I. Things changed..err, in fact my thinking changed after I started working. I had more to complain than to write. Frequency of my posts came down year after year and the inspiration to write further took a beating when some guys suggested that I should write columns for Deccan Chronicle or The Times of India, because I always considered them as substandard. I know my language skills aren’t that great too. These days I write because I have a blog and I don’t want to delete it. I’m supplying it with enough words to survive but it’s as good as dead. Will it come back alive? Sachin Tendulkar knows!

Kya tho bhi!

Any event that is being discussed more than required starts to annoy me. A lot of such events/processes are already discussed at work which are unavoidable. You like it or not, sometimes, you have to be part of a never ending conversation. That’s the problem with words. A picture with a beautiful caption attracts more eyes than a picture with no caption. Over the last few weeks, there have been many such events that went viral. Terrorist attacks, Dhoni’s retirement, outrage over PK, New Year, etc.

Is it really so important to have an opinion on everything? The moment you choose to be silent, it’s misunderstood as being ignorant. I’ve seen expressions on few faces which are like ‘how can you be so calm and not react?’. You like it or not, you got to have an opinion. Debating about an event on any social platform is just pointless. It just never ends. There’s just so much anger everywhere. The 9 PM news hour is one of the best example. Our approach itself concerning. We need people who can make a story out of nothing, who can engage audience to run a show, like big boss, that is of no help. There are just so many things. Not sure if i’m over-reacting or the world has indeed become a weird place to live in.

Knot Knot!

I promised my wife long back that I would write a post on her. How foolish can I be? How did I say that I’d write a post on her when we all know that it’s not possible to confine the characteristics of a woman to a single blog post? (Oh! such a male chauvinist I’m) Anyhow, since I’ve already made a commitment, I’d try to describe my journey so far post marriage.

Some old guy, even before I was born, said that marriages are made in heaven and people kept believing ever since. I guess that is the reason why people wish to enter heaven after death, so they can dress up prettily and eat free food. Who wouldn’t be happy then?

I rarely attend weddings, not because I don’t like people getting married but I lack patience to sit through the entire ceremony. I don’t know what time zone this heaven follows, but when my time came God tested our patience by fixing the “muhurat” (the auspicious time) at an ungodly hour. Half of my cousins were happily dozing while I was getting married. Now that I recollect these moments, I can relate a bit of India’s history to my wedding.

At the stroke of midnight hour, when the world (my cousins) sleeps, India (I, me, myself) will awake to life and freedom. A moment comes, but rarely in history, when we step out from the old to the new, when an age ends, and when the soul of a nation, long suppressed, finds utterance.

Totally apt, isn’t it? Marriage did give me a new life and lot of freedom and I did step out from the old to the new. Oh! And of course, the desire of a man, long suppressed, did find utterance 😛 So, it’s all good, however, it also depends on the way we see it. My wife is surprised at her own commitment levels and I still turn my head whenever I come across a pretty lass. 126 days since I started this journey, and in spite of the fact that we have a long way to go, one thing is for sure…end of the day, if my partner’s head is resting on my shoulder, even for a few silent minutes, I know all is well.

 

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Neither a winner nor a loser

So this announcement of a separate statehood has made me come back to the blog. Of all the things happening around, the news of a new state has changed the state of my mind. So 29th state it is. Now what?

People of telangana have won. I’m a telanganite, but I don’t feel like a winner and I don’t feel like I lost something valuable either. I still have to fill those 9 hours at work and I still have to work my ass off for a better living. In fact, we all have to.

I didn’t like one thing though. The new proposed map of andhra. If your kid brings weird diagrams to home, don’t panic, it might just be this. The map of telangana looks better though, like a crooked tortilla chip.

Is this a good news or a bad decision? That is something I won’t break my head on. If we do our part, we don’t have to worry about different parts of the world. 😜 Until then, peace!